Like an Ikea shelf
She dismantled him
There were screws left
Who cares
She shrugged
Women can be abusers too
Get over it
Trembling the boards fell down
Every time she incomprehensibly panted down the phone
Threw up words like bile that won’t stay in
Projectile vomiting of hatred
Like an Ikea shelf
He would tremble
Dissociate
Disconnect
To cope
His sin? You ask
Was not to obey the psychopath
Not play the game any longer
Making her meaningless in his life
She can’t abide
Not winning
Not playing
Not cheating
Not lying
She needs to fucking win
She cheated with three different guys
Just because she could
She abused until there were witnesses
Then she ran
She span
She twisted
She warped
She threw up more bile
It’s all pointless
She is spinning
A perpetuate motion machine
Without hope to win
Over the one thing she ought to win over
Her inner demons
10 Years
Razzmatazz
Embezzled
Breeding
Absence
Futile
Angry
Lost
her
Go
I
Go
gag
Love
Jujus
Trying
Muzzled
expected
quickstep
juxtaposes
Echoes of Summer
Mirrors
Survivor
I want to rage
I want to rage so fiercely
Like a hurricane ripping up the land
I want to rain fire and brimstone
I want flood the lands with stormwaves tall as mountains
I want to swing my sword cutting through meaningless flesh
I want to scream until your eardrums burst
I want to let go let go of holding back the chaos
And thus
I sit
My back to the wall
Arms wrapped around my knees
Because all I want to rage against
Are dead already
It would be an empty gesture
I do not make empty gestures
Sadness
Sadness is leaking
Like broken plumbing
Sewage of pain
Better out than in ey?
Trying to stop the leak
With bad habits
Chocolate
Mainly
No drugs
Never drugs
Brain on emotional rollercoaster
And it keeps spilling everywhere
If you don’t watch it
It will stick to you
After a hug with me
I don’t want that
So I leave
Walk alone
In the dark
In the woods
I am not scared
I am the woods
I breathe the silence
I am never alone
They all died
Slowly
Painfully
The perpetrators
Cheating me out of my revenge
What now?
I have no choice
But to heal now
It’s painful
Healing
Scars hurt, itch, bother
Sadness leaks everywhere
Like a flood of gue
I can’t stop it
So I just let it leak
Let it spill out
Send it on it’s way
It will stop eventually
I know
Fallen
Fallen
Eons ago
Lonely
Now
Sacrifice
Labour
Hardship
Blood
Sweat
Tears
Pain
Still
Lonely
Lost
Searching
Stony path
Stumbling
Forward
Ever forward
Unseen
You need no mask
You need no hiding
You walk unseen
Amongst the living
Yet you can hear
Can listen
They speak
About your strength
your beauty
your light
your resilience
You hear
Yet are unseen
Until
that day
on which
you learn
that it was you
who didn’t see
yourself
that is
the day
you start breathing
When will it stop?
When will it stop?
The peeling off
Of onion layers?
Will there ever be a bottom?
Will you ever arrive?
Within yourself?
Or is this a spiral?
Unearthing darkness?
Throwing out pain like outgrown clothes?
Recycling bad habits turning old into new.
More healthy more positive
Until you hit the next wall.
Sunday Thought
The love of others
Leaves you no choice
But revise
Your self-loathing
Poetry by Nathalie 