Angel Lost

My wings aren’t—actually—small and maimed
In fact they are strong
Huge
Not white, not fluffy, no soft down
Razor sharp edges
I am no angel of softness
I am avenger
Deep down I am fire and brimstone
I am righteous by nature
Fallen
Risen
Back with vengeance
Tethering on the edge of self-righteousness
A dangerous edge
Always hoisting myself back
Someone had to point it out though
The flaws
I mean it was so clear
Remember Cain and Abel
It’s always the messenger
Always
The voice that gets bumped
But someone had to point out the flaw
One sacrifice as the other
No preference
I sigh deeply
All the pomp
I stop my thoughts there
Whatever
Not all equal in his eyes
I still haven’t found my sword
It fell too
Got lost
And now
I need to point out
Again
The flaw
Again
The preferential treatment
Again
Small acts
Big impact
My wings shiver with tension
Always the same damn story

Fallen

Fallen

I am me
Somewhere deep down
Like snowdrops
Green growth tries to break through layers of frozen can’ts

My stomach churns
The planted bulbs want to break free
And there is not enough space within me
For all that growth

I will have to become bigger
I will have to become more
I will have to become stronger
I will have to become me
I will have to heal

I forgive myself through space and time
I am fallen
I have landed
I have lost my sword
I yield my shield
I have fallen
Eons ago
I have fallen
Without worth
I have fallen

But never was lost
Never was unseen
Never did not belong

I was fallen
To come home

Unfolding

Like a cloak wrapped around me
To protect from your evil eye

White down
No sparkles
Edges a bit darkened from use

I feel the tug of their weight
On my back

My penance is over
I belong
I am home
I am strong
I am not alone
Unfolding

Their span is huge

A fragment of a second
Quantum jump
From penance
To acceptance

And suddenly there was their weight

My fiery sword lost for eons
Gleaming as if I just polished it

My voice ringing through time and space

Do you hear me?

Fallen

Fallen
Eons ago

Lonely
Now

Sacrifice
Labour
Hardship

Blood
Sweat
Tears
Pain

Still
Lonely
Lost

Searching
Stony path

Stumbling
Forward

Ever forward