poetry, word doodles and other writing stuff
Your footfalls echo through the dark.
Somewhere the owl hoots
swift wings gliding.
She lays awake waiting,
night after night, moon after moon.
Lest she misses your ghostly attendance.
Bringing both,
solace and pain
to tortured grief.
The foxes’ sinister bark breaks through the night.
You pause in one another’s presence,
Two restless spirits,
one spectre, one flesh.
I have been thinking about you all day.
The day after.
It began the moment I passed the robin.
An almost spring morning.
Life assuring song on top of his lungs.
Witch hazel blooming.
The first day after death.
When you are faced with the facts that:
And you, you are left behind.
Not quite at the same pace with everyone else.
Not quite in the same space with everyone else.
Still with the one who left.
Yet utterly bereft.
Hot air created foam in rich milk.
You can’t taste the pain au chocolate.
All noise is behind a thick glass wall.
One foot in front of the other going no where.
Ice cold wind slashed your face unbeknownst.
The last roar of winter passes you by.
And you, you are left behind.
Darkness within
Sick mind
Suffering soul
Caring for things that don't matter
While breaking the ones that do
You have been lost for so long
Your self righteousness has become your guiding light
Trapped in delusions and unspoken woes
My grief won't save you
True Colours
@storyfae
Hold your loved ones close. Family doesn’t need to be genetic. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Talk about what matters.
You are in a hole
6 feet under
I image a worm crawling through your eye socket
It’s all a bit Tim Burton in my head right now
Ashes to ashes my arse
Buffet for the creepy crawlies
More like it
Nurture nature
Fair enough
But you weren’t supposed to
43
That’s no age to just drop dead
Not as in drop dead gorgeous
No just dead
Stop
End
Fin
You were supposed to live forever
Because ending isn’t anything
I can grasp yet
It makes a hollow sound
The end
I walk under water
All is muted
I expect you to just come walking out of the barn
Or drive down the dirt path
It’s just stopped
Your life
But you echo everywhere
The space is still holding you
It hasn’t realised you are gone yet either
It’s not just me
Disembodied steps each night
In mum’s bedroom
Always the same time
I feel you sit on my bed
There is movement
Presence
I heard the steps
But you can’t
Can you?
Be there
I cry until there is nothing left
Tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth
Can’t breathe through my nose
I scream into my pillow
I don’t know where to put
All that pain
The confusion
The anger
So I want to stop too
Just stop
How dare world go on without you
Don’t they know
That it can’t
I can’t
Keep going on being
Holding the weight of the black hole
That was ripped onto my chest
That night
That night when I was away
And laid crying awake
Not knowing why
Until early morning
Mum showed up
To take me back home
Numb
I sit in the back of the car
Not even get to shotgun
There’s a dude there
Your colleague
Mum couldn’t drive alone
I was too far away
She in shock
It makes a hollow sound
The end of childhood
Wallow in it
Permit yourself to feel
Eat a tub of ice-cream
Have a cry
Scream into your pillow
And when you are done
Blow your nose
Wash your face
Stand tall within yourself
And keep moving
Like mist grief seeps into awareness Gently covering the rough rocks
An apprehension of light lingers Threatening to uncover sharp edges A foreboding of healing
As calm as the quiet sea You know before the storm etc
But for now breathe in deeply
The salt laden air
Listen to the silky whisper
Of ripples tip-toeing ashore
facsimile of sound
reverberating shadows
of empty days gone by
nights cried through
your smell
your arms
your warmth
your patience with my million questions
when you died
footsteps echoed
during bad nights
in my room
in mum’s room
Where you making the rounds?
Children leave deep imprints in your soul
No matter how long they were with you
Or if they only ever were:
could have beens,
almost theres,
come and gones
Their traces
Last forever
Alienated or empty nest
A wish unfulfilled
Or an attempt gone wrong
There are deep footprints
In an empty space
as opaque as the obsidian sea
and as deep
sometimes still
sometimes in waves
so massive, so strong they move the land
when grief holds reign
a tiny fishing boat
exposed to the elements
don’t try to steer
or you will capsize
Poetry by Nathalie 