Tag: life

What is a meaningful life?

You meant well?
I mean what I say?
But a mean streak
Works just as well?

Meaningful engagement?
The means to an end?
What does it mean?
What do I mean?

I mean to you?
I mean to myself?
My life means to me?

Just a finite pearlstring
Of events my brain categorises
Into a meaningful story?

But is it meaningful?
This story of mine?
These random encounters
Carefully planned?

And I am simply the narrator?
Narrator
Maybe not so simple after all?
The narrator creates reality

Without the storyteller
The pearls would tumble through space and time

I tell my life into being

In a teaching observation the person I observed was introducing free will and categories of determinism to the class. So I tried playing with the ideas.

The burden of love

Strange Befores

Strange befores
Aftermath in hindsight

Nothing
In the middle
But transient space

Familiar voices
In my head
Speak about regrets

Strange face
Old pictures
A me long gone

Nothing
Holds the wave of sadness
Could have beens
No more

Familiar pain
Throbbing
A sad song humming
Hope rising

Stranger me
Holding on to dear life
In a life long gone
Until my me broke free

With nowhere to go
Transient space

Told you

Told you not to poke the bear
Told you not to eat the Cake
Told you not to play with them
Told you not to tread so loudly
Told you not to love your dad

Defended you against the bear
Saved you from becoming fat
Yelled at them for being mean
Taught you how to be considerate
Rewarded you for calling him names

Never told you bear was friend
Never told you cake makes happy
Never told you they are nice
Never told you that’s not how loud sounds
Never told you how much he loved you

You are mine
And mine alone
Therefore I can’t let you go
Go to be who you are meant to

So I told you
Told you not to
Told you not to do
Not to do
Whatever
Made you feel
Like you

Sunday Thought

The love of others

Leaves you no choice

But revise

Your self-loathing


All Edges

I am always all edges

Grating

Scratching

Upsetting

Not fitting in

I am always all edges

Saying the wrong things

Too much

Too straight

No filter

I am always all edges

Strong colours

Strong bones

Strong mind

Strong willed

I am always fighting

Windmills

Sometimes

Enemies

But they are mostly dead now

Sometimes

I wish

For a little bit

For a day or so

I could just blend in

Be a chameleon

Pretend I know how to hack this life thing

You Can

You can know yourself
Like the back of your hand
You can love yourself
With all your might
You can shine a light
Into the dark corners of your soul
While holding a poker
–Just in case

You can forgive
So generously
As if your life depended on it
–It just might

You can kick
Your own backside
Gently but assertive
–When needs be

You can stand tall
Within yourself
With pride and humility
And serve
Freedom

You cannot

You cannot cross the same river twice
You cannot go back to change regrets
You cannot predict where tomorrow carries you
You cannot know then what you know now
You cannot sing an unwritten song
You cannot feel when you are numb
You cannot hear over the noise in your mind
You cannot see what’s right in front of you
You cannot fix what’s meant to break
You cannot heal without looking in the mirror
You cannot run from yourself
You cannot flee your past either
You cannot do what you can’t
But can you do what you can?

Can you be you?

empty

‘I am running on empty’
I heard a lot these last weeks
November grey not helping
when the sky hides
the sun forgotten in a summer long past

grey above

grey below

the puddles mirror

even the raindrops look grey

hold fast
steadfast
onto life
even now
in the grey
on empty

because

after all

the

sun

is just behind the clouds

Sometimes

Sometimes
I just go to bed at 7

Sometimes
I have ice-cream for breakfast

Sometimes
I have anxiety attacks

Sometimes
I smell the roses—literally

Sometimes
I forget my wallet

Sometimes
I burn my toast

Sometimes
I get envious

Sometimes
I talk to the cat in the street

Sometimes
I forget just how much I love you

Sometimes
I forget to love myself

Sometimes
I become utterly, furiously, angry

Sometimes
I am sad

Sometimes
I watch the clouds go by

Sometimes
I misplace my USB stick

Sometimes
I tummy-hurtingly miss you

Sometimes
Life is too heavy

Sometimes
I order extra chili

Sometimes
I am happy

Sometimes
I know what I am doing

Sometimes
Life is marvelous

Sometimes
I write poems beginning with sometimes