poetry, word doodles and other writing stuff
Like a cloak wrapped around me
To protect from your evil eye
White down
No sparkles
Edges a bit darkened from use
I feel the tug of their weight
On my back
My penance is over
I belong
I am home
I am strong
I am not alone
Unfolding
Their span is huge
A fragment of a second
Quantum jump
From penance
To acceptance
And suddenly there was their weight
My fiery sword lost for eons
Gleaming as if I just polished it
My voice ringing through time and space
Do you hear me?
Told you not to poke the bear
Told you not to eat the Cake
Told you not to play with them
Told you not to tread so loudly
Told you not to love your dad
Defended you against the bear
Saved you from becoming fat
Yelled at them for being mean
Taught you how to be considerate
Rewarded you for calling him names
Never told you bear was friend
Never told you cake makes happy
Never told you they are nice
Never told you that’s not how loud sounds
Never told you how much he loved you
You are mine
And mine alone
Therefore I can’t let you go
Go to be who you are meant to
So I told you
Told you not to
Told you not to do
Not to do
Whatever
Made you feel
Like you
The prefixes you have for me
Usually start with fucking (insert derogatory term here)
You used them the moment you knew off me
Not anything about me–just off me
A threat to your carefully spun web of deceit
Of course you feel threatened by me
You cannot manipulate me
You cannot predict me
Your open threat:
‘Hands down I will win.’
Won’t work with me
I am healing–the noun
That means I am ripping off band-aids
Granddad always said:
‘Let air touch the wound to heal.’
Air, and light, and love
You won’t stop me loving them
You won’t stop me healing them
But you, you
For you I have given up
I have let go
And as of now
–after enduring years of your prefixes–
For you I have a suffix
May she rot in hell
This is like ‘Harry Potter’
Niece age 5
My new university
I wanted to live somewhere else
Where my dad’s death was not so loud
Because he never was here
With mountains, hills, water, woods
‘That’s my place’, I said touching the walls
Hearing their song
That’s where I belong
Freedom of movement
What if you can’t right a wrong?
What if you can’t cry wolf?As it began
so it ends
Geh mit Gott
Aber Geh
The love of others
Leaves you no choice
But revise
Your self-loathing
I am always all edges
Grating
Scratching
Upsetting
Not fitting in
I am always all edges
Saying the wrong things
Too much
Too straight
No filter
I am always all edges
Strong colours
Strong bones
Strong mind
Strong willed
I am always fighting
Windmills
Sometimes
Enemies
But they are mostly dead now
Sometimes
I wish
For a little bit
For a day or so
I could just blend in
Be a chameleon
Pretend I know how to hack this life thing
I long
But you, you play
I burn
But you, you freeze
I crave
But you, you starve
I seek
But you, you hide
I speak
But you won’t hear
I sing
But you won’t listen
I paint
But you won’t see
I write
But you won’t read
So here I stand
Just me
No more
No less
But you, you cannot see
Me
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
For C: I could after all do it …
You cannot cross the same river twice
You cannot go back to change regrets
You cannot predict where tomorrow carries you
You cannot know then what you know now
You cannot sing an unwritten song
You cannot feel when you are numb
You cannot hear over the noise in your mind
You cannot see what’s right in front of you
You cannot fix what’s meant to break
You cannot heal without looking in the mirror
You cannot run from yourself
You cannot flee your past either
You cannot do what you can’t
But can you do what you can?
Can you be you?
Poetry by Nathalie 