I pulled the edge of freezing
And found more freezing
More quiet
Thicker blankets to hide underneath

Normally my MO is fight
Not flight, freeze, fawn
But this time

Not sure how to be frozen
Or how to unfreeze
This is new

The clusterfuck changed nothing
But letting one run wild with global somatic activation
Not protecting them
Not protecting me

Now let’s all move on
With a festering wound open
My voice ignored
My flashbacks
You did not even react
Nothing

I do not count
You do not want to hear my voice
Because if you would listen
You would have to look into the mirror

It is all about the dramatic espousing of self-righteousness
Masterful manipulation
Nothing to pin down
To explicitly bring forward
That’s all I learned

On Monday
About you both

You dramatically raised you hands
Shouting you made mistakes
I am curious
What mistakes you think you made
I never thought you did
All I thought was that your wounded child responded
In survival mode

What I find most bizarre is that you cannot see me at all
Instead you act upon some strange imagination a figment of who I am
A warped chimera only real inside your head
But you are scared of me
Because I do see You